We all have them. Sometimes it is a generally content soul who is just having a bad day. Then there are the ones who are NEVER happy or even polite. It can be a challenge for the caregiver, to continue to be courteous and kind; to not respond to them with the same anger they are spewing at you. And, of course, if they get violent - hitting, pinching, biting, etc. You cannot retaliate.
So, how does one deal with this?
1. Stay calm. Don’t take it personally. Getting angry or your feelings hurt will not be helpful. Remember-- this is not about YOU. You are there to care for THEM.
2. Listen for clues as to what is really behind the anger. Ask questions to clarify and be empathetic. Maybe they are depressed and need to know someone cares. Maybe they are bored and frustrated that they are here and not at home. Maybe they have a really good reason to be angry. “I hit my call light 20 minutes ago and no one came! I need off this toilet!” A valid reason to be upset.
3. If they are getting violent, move out of reach. Never let them get between you and the door. If they are in a safe place, i.e. in bed, in their chair, and your presence seems to be making things worse, just excuse yourself and come back later. Or send another CNA in after they have has a minute or two to calm down.
4. Always use respectful terms no matter what they call you. Yes sir, no ma’am, will inspire respect from them to you. Never be condescending, “now sweetie . . .” or threatening, “ You need to stop yelling or I will leave you in your room” (You will lose your license for threatening). Remember to focus on them and how you can help.
5. There May Be A Medical Problem Causing This: Consider the possibility that anger, in a usually calm person, could mean a change in neurological status, could be a symptom of a urinary tract infection or any number of other medical conditions, that need attention right away.
You know this person better than anyone in the facility. You are the expert on what is “normal behavior” as opposed to what is happening today.
Go share your concerns with the nurse on duty along with any data you have been able to collect. These clues can help figure out what is troubling your resident.
Above all, stay cool, professional and compassionate toward your resident.
For more tips or training, download a copy of the CNA or Caregivers Training PDF.